


Sweet and Sour

by MikeWritesThings (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Bakery AU, College AU, Death, Depression, Karkat In A Sparkly Pink Apron Baking Cookies, Multi, New Town, Sollux Is Probably Going To Murder Eridan, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-20 00:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4766252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/MikeWritesThings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave is still recovering. He still misses him. But he just needs to get away. He needs a fresh start. </p><p>So he moves to a new town on the outskirts of New York City, where he meets a shouty short guy who runs the bakery down the street, his neighbor is a huge bitch, his roommates are probably both bipolar and homicidal,  and he's pretty sure his coworker is a drug addict.</p><p>(A college AU one-shot (possibly two-shot)) thing with DaveKat thrown in)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet and Sour

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be short.
> 
> Ha.
> 
> Hahaha.

 

The walls are devoid of any and all pictures, square-shapes where they used to hang. Your millions of posters-his included-have been torn up and thrown away. Your TV has a huge crack in it from when you punched it the day after the funeral. Everything is packed away in boxes. One is dedicated entirely to his puppets. You're sitting on the couch, the last heavy item that has yet to be loaded into the moving van. You have a lot of good memories with Dirk on this couch.

Playing your first video game with him. Opening Christmas presents. That night he told you he was going to propose to Jake, his long-time boyfriend. A lot of good memories.

And a lot of awful, awful ones.

This exact spot was where you sat when you received the phone call. A very frantic Jake English, voice rushing, words tripping over one another as he screamed that Dirk was in the hospital. He had been in a car crash. He had been driving to Jake's house, and someone had swerved on the road. Dirk slammed his brakes.The car behind him collided into his truck. It flipped two times and rolled into a ditch, where another car followed. He was in critical condition.

You had rushed to the hospital, nearly getting in a collision yourself, but by the time you arrived, his lung damaged lungs had filled up with water that was too late to drain, and he died on the operation table.

The next few days were numb, and Jake was always at the apartment you and Dirk shared, draped across the couch and looking at pictures of he and Dirk on his phone, or helping Dave pack up everything and put them into boxes. Once you walked in on him in Dirk's room, holding a photo album flipped to the middle. There was Dirk, teaching a five-year-old you how to skateboard, including a couple of pretty pictures of flowers and the city.

"I didn't know he liked photography," Jake had mumbled, and you left the room, feeling like the moment was private.

It's been three months, and you can't even begin to comprehend ever getting over it.

So now, you're moving to college, in New York, far, far away as possible as you can from Texas, because you can't bear to think about staying here another moment without somehow thinking of Dirk.

The flight to New York leaves your legs numb and tingling, and it takes a few moments of walking up and down the empty aisle to regain proper feeling within them. Jake had bid you farewell after driving you to the airport, but now you miss him. At least he shared your woes over losing Dirk.

The apartment building you were moving in was fairly nice. Dirk had left behind a small fortune in your name for you to move to college-an option you hadn't even considered until you got the news of his death. Then you had taken a second look at all those college forms you had received towards the end of your senior school year. You would be attending New York Film Academy.

When you sign into the log at the front desk, writing your name, apartment number, and time signing in carefully on the paper, the girl about your age at the desk leans over and stares at your name.

"Hi, Dave!" She says with cheerfulness that wants to make you kneel over and die. Oh my god, you can't handle that amount of happiness at the moment. You just want to go up to your apartment and probably sulk in the corner for the rest of your life.

You nod your head to acknowledge her and she quickly frowns, leaning over the desk once again, round glass glinting from the bright lights above.

"What's the matter? You seem down!"

You shake your head. You don't want to talk about it, and certainly not with someone you just met. The girl cocked her head to the side with a pout before straightening herself and holding out her hand.

"Hi Dave, I'm Jade!"

You bite your lip. You don't want to come across as rude, but oh hell no you aren't going to put up with this happiness for too long when everything should be bleak and dreary just like your mind is telling you it should be. But you outstretch your hand anyways and take hers. She does all the shaking-more like swinging your arm back and forth until you slip your hand away. She gives you directions to your apartment and you nod to her word in silence. Jade did all the talking while you said nothing.

These apartments were reserved for college students only, and you're not sure whether you're sharing with someone or not, but if you are, you at least hope they are quiet and will leave you alone.

As soon as you reach the fourth floor, searching for room four thirteen, you hear loud hip hop music blasting from down the hallway and with dread you realize it's coming from room 413. Just your luck, your roommate is going to probably be a loud spunky kid who is on the happy side of the moon. Not your side of the moon, by the way.

When you push the door open, you're surprised by what you see.

There are already two people inside and they are shouting at each other, voices barely heard over the blasting Wiz Khalifa. One is the same height as you but the other one is taller. The taller one is wearing a pair of hipster glasses and has his blond hair spiked up, a strip of it dyed purple. Everything about his outfit screamed hipster and if you were to take a guess that was probably his music playing.

The second person had strange glasses with red and blue lenses, braces, and looked positively ready to blow up. He too, had blond hair.

"Turn your fucking music down-"

"Don't tell me what to do-"

"I want a new roommate-"

"I'll only turn my music down when you take those posters down-"

"Hello," You croaked, speaking for the first time in thirty-seven hours just to get them to shut the hell up because one was British, one had a lisp, and combined with "See You Again" you were already getting a headache. Both of their heads snapped towards you and instead of a warmed welcome greeting, the one with the lisp snaps,

"Who the hell are you?"

"Uh," You hold up your room key, displaying the 413 on it, "You guy's roommate...I guess."

They stare at you for what feels like an eternity before the hipster points at the only spare bed near the window. It's a rather large room that could comfortably fit four people who intended to live there, but both of them had so much crap you wondered if there would be enough room for you to breathe.

An hour of the two of them fighting and completely ignoring your existence, you were fine with. Enough time for you to hang up a lone poster and framed photo to claim your side of the room. Your bed was lining with the wall the window was one while the other two were on the walls opposite of you, so both their feet would be in your direction and their heads toward the door, and you would be lying right by the window waiting for some crazy New Yorker to eventually break in one day. Through the window. This neighborhood wasn't the greatest, you heard.

After their fighting had cooled down to the extent that one of them begrudgingly agreed to take down two posters and the other turned his volume from 100 to thirty, you were finally able to introduce yourself.

"Name's Dave," You say, sitting on your bed with all your stuff in one box and sorting through it. Clothes. Laptop. Old bag of Doritos.

"Eridan," The British one says, tidying up his side of the room somewhat. At least to the point where there wasn't as much danger of you getting up in the middle of the night to pee and tripping over his clothes on the floor. The one with the lisp introduces himself as well, but you think he said "Thollux". When you say "Hi, Thollux," he glares at you and Eridan laughs. You realize his name must be Sollux.

Eridan's side of the room is more your style than Sollux's. A mix table, albums of music artists, one of the newest laptops on the market, two posters of some really popular TV shows you liked as well, and a cool gun collection he had hidden under his bed. The only thing out of place was the history books piled on his desk. They ranged from the Holocaust to the ancient Roman empire. He must be a history nerd or something.

Sollux clearly had an obsession on his side of the room, and this obsession was none other than Aradia Megido. You've seen a few of her horror movies, and she's a pretty good actress, and you suppose she looks pretty enough, but with the sheer number of posters of her on Sollux's wall, it's kind of disturbing. You suddenly see why Eridan wanted two down. Hell, if you had it your way, you would have told him to take seven down.

The rest of the day is spent mutually all doing your own thing and completely ignoring one another.  You consider updating SBaHJ but with the writer's block you've been experiencing, you don't think it's possible. By the time it's midnight you realize you haven't eaten anything or moved from your spot in exactly eight hours. You close your laptop with a groan, and look at the others to see Eridan passed out on his bed with the Holocaust history book draped over his face and Sollux gone. He returns a half hour later as you step out of the shower with a pizza throwing it on the counter and trudging to his bed with a few slices of his own. You take this as an invitation to get a plate and start om-nom-nomming.

The morning is just as loud as the afternoon was.

"Where the hell is my scarf?!"

"Like I mess with your stuff for fun, you idiot."

"Shut it, four-eyes."

"That insult is entirely useless as you too require glasses. _Imbecile._ "

You grudgingly throw on a wrinkled T-shirt and call yourself ready for the day.

Your first class is Sollux and Eridan free, which you enjoy the bliss of, but your next class is spent with you sitting two seat behind Eridan and his voice is so loud and his accent so contagious you find yourself unknowingly imitating him to the girl next to you, who laughs and repeatedly shoots Eridan evil stares. She keeps doodling the number 8 on her paper and introduces herself as Vriska. Only after class is over do you realize you think you might have made a mistake by talking to her.

Three classes pass and you find your mind slowly slipping away from your professors. A couple ask for the class's names and when you say Dave Strider most of the time their faces are filled with pity. So by the end of the day you are piled with a buttload of work to finish by tomorrow and you still feel distant.

Back to your room, where Sollux is doing something on his computer and Eridan is absent, you sit on your bed and lean against the wall, staring blankly at a spot on the ceiling. If Dirk was still alive, you’re sure he would have sent you a text by now. Asking how your first day of college was. If you kicked anybody’ ass. The usual stuff. Your eyes sting and you suddenly realize all those pent up emotions combined with the stress of today is making you bubble. Your hand reaches to your all-too-familiar pillow that has been soaked plenty of times before, and you don’t realize until you’re pressing it to your face that your hand is shaking.

You don’t cry, but you do manage to muffle the heaving sobs racking through your body. This has become daily routine by now-stuffing your face into your pillow to control everything. To not let loose like some pansy little kid at a funeral for some grandmother he probably didn’t even know that well. Your fingers whiten as you think about Dirk being incinerated. Neither you nor Jake had enough money for an actual funeral, and while Jake insisted you keep the ashes, in the end he gave up and kept them in a little urn by his bedside.

You don’t know how long you stay with your face buried in your pillow but when you feel a cold hand grasps your wrist and a finger prods at you, you look up, breathing in fresh cold air and staring at Eridan, who is looking down at you with a slight look of amusement on his face.

“Get up, Strider. Feasting time.”

You’re glad your face conveys no emotion and your tears dried. They think nothing is wrong. Neither of them heard you and neither of them care. When you get to your feet, your legs feel hollow and you stalk over to the small table crammed in the dining area. A bag of donuts lies in the middle of it and sloppily made sandwiches. Eridan’s was the most sloppy. You have an idea of who made the sandwiches.

“Sol, why the hell does my sandwich look like a piece of shit?”

“Because you are a piece of shit.”

“Says the fucking-”

You give a sigh and grab your own sandwich and donut, leaving their bickering behind to enjoy your food on top of your bed. The arguing carries out for an hour and you don’t feel like getting to your feet to work on your homework, so you instead tell them goodnight and burrow yourself under the covers.

Weeks past and you still feel empty and it becomes almost daily for you to bury your head in your pillow. Come home, sit down with the intent of doing homework or eating a snack before your surface cracks and you need to bury your face to conceal everything. You can’t let the others know.

However, do to your fantastic luck, Sollux hears your dry sobs one day and grabs your shoulder roughly. He asks why you’re crying. You tell him you’re not and he looks as if he believes you, but the next day both Sollux and Eridan are sitting on your bed with a video game in hand and surprisingly, not bickering. They offer it to you, saying it’s the least they can do when all they do is fight like an old married couple, and you actually manage to swallow the hollowness for a couple of hours and blow off some steam by playing GTA5 with them.

That night you feel a lot better than you did yesterday and actually start thinking that maybe your roommates aren’t so bad. In the morning they’re both gone and there’s half a donut left for you. At least they left half.

By October you start actually leaving the apartment to do normal stuff, like go grocery shopping and getting fresh-air. You can’t stay cooped up in the apartment, only ever leaving to go to school. But the first time you step out of your room, the neighbor right next to you, 411, steps out, and you realize that she looks very familiar.

“Hi Daaaaaaaave,” Vriska says, flipping her hair over her shoulder, and you want to run away. She’s proved to be plenty scary and plenty bitchy in the two months you’ve known her, and now that you know she’s your neighbor oh holy hell.

“So you room with Eritwat and Sollsucks?” Vriska asks, and there’s a grin on her face, “I feel bad for you.”

You nod, and attempt to get by her, but she blocks your way with a serious look.

“I’m having a party next week. You should come.”

“Thanks,” You say, and slip underneath her arm, breathing a sigh of relief as you duck into the elevator. That was close.

Jade’s reading a book in the library, sparkling red shoes propped up on the desk. It reminds you of Dorothy’s slippers and you can’t help but think Jade is a bit similar to her. As you pass by Jade chirps a ‘good afternoon!’ and you wave back. Once you got past the cheery bullshit, she was an awesome person. You once showed her some of your beats and she seemed genuinely interested.

When you get back, Eridan is sitting at the table with what looks like a science project in front of him, looking frustrated, so you avoid him entirely and sit next to Sollux. It’s starting to become a habit, sitting next to him and watching him play his computer games. It hurts the little ego and pride you have left, but Sollux is such a boss at games.

Even though Sollux and Eridan still bicker like whoever wins the argument becomes the fucking president of the United States, and Vriska is ultimately a bitch by complaining nearly every night to the three of you that someone’s music is too loud, or Eridan and Sollux are fighting too loudly (it’s become a great argument-breaker for one of you to slam the door in her face and laugh about it), and weird noises come from the room across the hall, life becomes easier than it did in Texas.

By late November you’ve established a well enough relationship with Eridan and Sollux to actually not feel awkward when they talk to you or in they’re in the room. Eridan lends you his history notes (which you never take, thank god) and Sollux plays video games with you. Eridan gets the both of you donuts every morning. You all take turns doing dishes. Occasionally when cleaning your side of the room you start cleaning Sollux’s side as well because holy shit it’s messy. You apply for a job at McDonald’s to start help pay rent with your own money (Eridan has already threatened both you and Sollux that he’s not going to be the only one paying rent just because he’s rich) and your coworker is pretty cool.

At least. You think he is. You’re not exactly sure how you feel about Gamzee. He seems normal-ish at work, if a little lethargic and dopey, but you saw him once after work and he looked completely out of it with clown make-up smeared across his face. You think he’s probably a junkie, but you don’t ever ask him. It’s not your business. Plus he buys you lunch sometimes, so hey, it’s not your place.

The little stable world you had constructed suddenly collapsed all at once mid-November.

“Eridan,” Sollux hisses through clenched teeth, “Why the fuck has my credit card bill gone up so high?”

“Uh,” Eridan said, looking up from his laptop, “Because you fucking gave it to me yesterday.”

“What the hell did you do, buy a fucking grocery store?”

“No, Princess,” Eridan sneers, “I buy those fuckin’ donuts you demand every morning.”

“For twenty fucking dollars?! Every time you buy donuts?”

“We do live in New York,” You point out, rubbing your temples as you struggle over trigonometry, “Everything here is a shit ton expensive.”

“But seriously, a half-dozen donuts for twenty bucks?” Sollux shoots a glare towards Eridan and mutters insults you can’t quite hear from your side of the room.

“I bought them at my friend Kar’s bakery,” Eridan snaps, slamming his laptop shut.

“Why are they twenty dollars?!”

“You’ve been eatin’ them, right?”

“Of course, asshole.”

“Then you fuckin’ know why.”

“ _Twenty_ -”

You close your door and stomp out of the room, going unnoticed by slipping under Sollux’s outstretched arm. Vriska is sitting in the hallway with her roommates Kanaya and Rose, and the three of them are doing a science project together. You ignore Vriska’s hello’s but give Rose a small wave. She’s not so bad.

It could be worse, your roommate situation, but sometimes it was just a bit too much. You’ve gotten used to it, and yeah, they’re good bros, but seriously. Jade waves eagerly towards you and asks you something but you pretend not to hear.

The streets of New York are as busy as ever and you manage to shove your way through a few people before allowing yourself to go with the flow, being pushed slightly here and there but letting your feet and the crowd take you someplace. A half hour of walking and find yourself standing outside the McDonald’s you work at. You give a sigh, check your phone. You don’t have to work today and it’s nearing seven. Might as well eat.

The inside is crowded and busy and you almost feel bad for Gamzee working the cash register alone tonight. Almost. But you remind yourself it’s not you flipping burgers tonight on a Friday and suddenly you don’t feel so bad.

When it’s your turn to order, you stand for a while, looking up at the choices. Bacon burger double deluxe supreme with extra bacon, Grand New York Special with Original Sauce...There’s a lot to choose from, more than there ever was in Houston.

“Hey, asshole. You mind fucking moving along?”

You shoot a glare over your shoulder but see nobody. You allow your gaze to travel down and see a skinny young man encased in an overlarge sweater glaring at yoiu, tufts of black hair falling in his face and shadowed eyes looking tired. He looks a undersized senior at high school until he opens his mouth and continues,

“Some of us want to fucking eat and asssniffers like you aren’t making my day fucking any more brighter, so if you want to to hurry up and not acting like a fucking retard riding a turtle on God’s greenest and hottest fucking day on Earth, order the hell up.”

You feel a sour remark rise in your throat for instant distaste in this guy. His voice was annoying, his language foul (you yourself aren’t much better, but at least you don’t curse to random strangers) and he looks like such a small dweeb you can’t believe that he has the nerve to talk to you like that. To spite the angry little crab, you take a longer time in deciding.

You already know what you want, twenty order of McNuggets and a large fry, but you wait just a little longer to tick him off. You hear more insults and curses, before slowly spelling out your order to Gamzee. He just looks mildly amused as he punches it in, declaring your order will be ready “in all-time motherfucking seven minutes, bro” and turn your back to fill up your cup at the soda fountain. You hear “Gamzee oh my god you high fucking shit” and nearly punch the guy. The juggalo ass clown was your friend and fuck it if you’re going to let this guy talk to him like that.

You calm yourself down and go sit at the usual table near the corner until your order is called and you get in line to pick it up. A minute later, and the shouty dweeb is behind you.

“Oh, look, the fucking-”

“Shut the hell up,” You groan, glaring down at him. He looks a bit surprised before scowling and saying, “I can say whatever the fuck I want. It’s a free country, cocklick.”

You’re about to say something before another coworker of yours-Feferi-happily hands you your meal with a bright “Hi Dave!”

“Hi, Feferi,” You say, and turn around, making sure to bump into that guy with as much force as possible without dropping your food.

Your day ends on a sour note and when you get home the hollowness you haven’t felt in weeks returns in a sudden rush. You lock yourself in the bathroom and heave, trying to let your breathing return to normal, but your skin is paler than usual and you feel as if someone cut out your lungs.

The next morning, Sollux and Eridan don’t say anything, but you know they know you were close to crying last night. Eridan buys you an extra donut. Says he was feeling generous. Sollux lets you borrow his computer game. Claims he doesn’t play it as much anymore.

They’re small things but you sure as hell appreciate that they don’t nag.

Your professors are unrelenting in their homework assignments and you fail three history tests in a row. Eridan snickers as he sees your grade. You promise to get revenge.

Come December third and you trudge back home, feeling the homework reisidng heavily in your backpack. Holy fuck you don’t think you can postpone not doing it anymore, you’re actually going to have to-

“Happy birthday!” Two voices cheer and your eyes widen when you see the seen before you. In front of you is Eridan and Sollux, Eridan wearing a stupid party hat and Sollux carrying some cheap cake they probably got from Walmart. There’s eight gifts waiting for you on the table.

“Yeah, it’s a shitty cake,” Sollux says as he sets it down before you, your mouth hanging open, “But the pizza’s good. I swear.”

“Holy shit,” You say, and that’s the only thing you can think to say. Eridan places one hand on your shoulder, Sollux places a hand on your other shoulder, and together they force you into a seat with smug looks on their faces, Sollux tossing your backpack carelessly across the room and Eridan piling four slices of cheesy pizza on a plate and flopping it down in front of you. The two start bickering on who gets the last slice of the cheese half (it’s half cheese, half pepperoni) but you can only feel a glow inside you. These guys are your friends. Your bros. You’d never exactly thought of them that way. Just bros you shared a room with that you were on fair terms with. When you take a bite of pizza, you find it is indeed delicious and for the first time in months you feel like crying but not because of Dirk.

“Open my present first,” Eridan eggs, after you all finish pizza, “Sorry the others can’t be here, they’re workin’.”

“We talked to every fucking person you know,” Sollux says, crossing his arms, “So you’re fucking welcome.”

“Fucking thank you,” You breathe as you unwrap the purple paper encompassing Eridan’s present.

It’s a brand new, and better, Wacom tablet than the one you had before. You feel like hugging the fuck out of Eridan but that’s hella gay so no way. Sollux commands that you open his present next, and you do. It’s an RPG game for your Xbox, Skyrim. Holy shit fuck balls yes you’ve been wanting this for months. The remaining six presents seem to stare up at you and you ask who they’re from. They only tell you to shut the hell up and open them.

One’s from Jade. It’s a hard drive with a note that says to send your music to a record company one day and a hundred dollar gift card to the arcade downtown. You make a mental note to hug the shit out of Jade later. The present from Rose is nothing special, a CD of a band she overheard that you liked, but she wishes you many happy birthday wishes. You almost fear opening Vriska’s present but it’s nothing more than an old-fashioned Polaroid camera. You do like photography. And you’re thankful for the gift. Maybe she’s not a huge bitch.

Haha, no.

Jake sent you a gift card to Gamestop and a note saying he was doing better and hoped you were as well. You hide the letter in the envelope it was in. You don’t need Eridan and Sollux to see that.

Gamzee’s given you a birthday card, fifty bucks cash, and a cool drawing of what you think is a dinosaur riding a shark. You think.

The final gift is from both Feferi and Kanaya, and you’re surprised they know one another, but whatever. It’s a gift card to Gamestop (again) some book you mentioned to Feferi you wouldn’t mind reading, and a book about dead things from Kanaya. Yes. Oh fucking yes. You make a note to hug them. You’re going to be doing a lot of hugging today.

Christmas Vacation starts in a week and you’re rushing to the donut shop at five A.M. because Eridan’s sick, Sollux is demanding donuts and you’re hungry as fuck. Who knew everything would suddenly go to hell when Eridan didn’t deliver the daily breakfast? Having snatched Sollux’s credit card from the counter (“It’s okay if I use it?” “Yes, now hurry the _fuck_ up I’m starving!”). You feel like your ass cheeks are going to freeze off and when you enter the warm bakery Eridan buys your donuts you feel relief.

Until you see who’s behind the counter.

It’s a familiar face, one you’ve only seen once, but holy shit you wished you’d never see him again. It’s that fucking shouty short dweeb from McDonald’s wearing a pink apron that sparkles carrying a tray of cookies to the display counter.

Fan fucking tastic.

“Eridan, you’re ear-” The guy says, looking up, but when he catches sight of you, his scowl deepens and he emits a growl.

“Oh look. The retard from McDonald’s.”

“Hello,” You say stiffly, stalking over to the counter, “I didn’t know you worked here. Never would have guessed, since the food Eridan brings home is actually decent.”

The guy’s eyebrows raise and his sneer returns.

“Holy shit, you’re Eridan’s boyfriend?”

You’re taken by surprise.

“Wha-”

“Eridan said he was fucking dating his roommate,” Karkat says with a scowl, suddenly getting to work by pulling a fresh cake from the oven behind him, “Never in my life would I have imagined it’s fucking _you_.”

“Uh, Eridan’s not dating m-” The realization hits you like a bag of bricks and all of your words seem to get mixed up, “Holy blerugh. _Rah. Meshaha._ ”

“Do you fucking speak English?” The dweeb snapped, and you’re too busy attempting to process the mass amount of brainfuck you’ve just experienced.

“Eridan’s dating Sollux?!” You finally spill out, and the shouty worker raises an eyebrow.

“Like I know who the hell that is. If it’s not you, must be him.” He kicks the oven close. “Thank god.”

His sour attitude is putting you through a slum of negative emotions and you snap,

“Listen, doucheface-”

“My name is fucking Karkat.”

“Listen up, Douchekat, I’m here to get my damn donuts and not listen to you insult me. So fucking get me my donuts.”

“Fine, you ass-stain,” Karkat’s face is red and livid, “Whatever the hell your majesty wants.”

When he hands you the donuts roughly, you take a bite, hoping they’d taste as shitty as Karkat’s attitude so you’d have more to complain about, but shit they taste like heaven. So you angrily stomp out of the bakery with nothing more to say.

When you barge in the room Eridan and Karkat are already arguing, Eridan’s voice a little funny since his voice is stuffed, and you remember what Karkat had said about Eridan dating a roommate. No way he could be dating Sollux. Perhaps he just said that to look cooler? You once spread a rumor you slept with Layla Vanaden. Good times. Good times.

“Food,” You announce, dumping the donut bag onto the table. Sollux needily grabs for one and Eridan barks at him to save him some. You try to imagine them being gay (Eridan wouldn’t be a stretch, Sollux is too far of a stretch) and then you imagine them kissing and oh shit you wish you hadn’t. It’s not that you have a problem with it but fucking hell they’re your roommates and you shouldn’t be thinking about them that way.

Christmas vacation hits and Eridan stays sick. You and Sollux take turns going to the bakery and on the fifth day Karkat gripes that he can’t decide who he hates more, you or Sollux.

Your manager gives you five days of vacation, which you’re thankful for, and you spend the afternoons playing video games with Sollux and later going out to buy Eridan some cough medicine because Sollux refuses to do so.

When Christmas is less than a few days away Vriska stops by your apartment, and although you’re hesitant, you let her in. She sits on the table and begins telling you that she’s having a New Year’s party and that you and ‘the nerds’ are invited so long as Eridan and Sollux don’t trash the place. You nod to her words, pretending to be interested, but she leaves with a smirk telling Kanaya, “I invited over the dorky blondes. Prepare the extra snacks.”

Eridan buys a tiny, cheap Christmas tree that none of you can ever find the time nor patience to actually decorate, so it sits alone on the kitchen table until Christmas Eve when Sollux decides to hang some tinsel and a few lights on it. So it wouldn’t look so miserable, he said.

You do last-minute Christmas shopping, already having Eridan and Sollux’s gifts in mind. You don’t have a lot of money, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

….You hope so.

And, just your luck, the one person you hate most of all is standing in line at Walmart with a huge fucking toaster oven under his arm.

“Hello, Douchekat,” You greet, and Karkat’s nose scrunches up.

“Oh look. Restridertard.”

“That one was a bit murky, try better next time,” You say, punching his shoulder in an intended light way, but too much force sends him toppling into the customer in front of him. You withdraw your fist, eyes wide, and watch Karkat squirm and wriggle around a whole buttload of blankets that had been knocked over in the accident. Oh shit.

You managed to cut in line while everyone was paying attention to Karkat, and _run_.

 Christmas morning, you get four presents. Sollux and Eridan, respectively, Jake, and Rose and Jade pitched in together. Sollux got you another game, though this time it’s a computer one. Eridan got you a set of coffee mugs that said some of the best things on them. Your favorite one is the blank one that when you lift to take a sip of everybody can clearly see the word TWAT printed at the bottom. (Others include ‘BITCHASS MORNING FACE’ and ‘TURN ME ON, I HAVE AN AUTOMATIC DRIP.’) Rose and Jade got you another gift card to Gamestop and a box of fudge. Seriously with all these Gamestop cards you’ve been getting, you might as well buy Gamestop itself. Jake sent you a neatly made sweater. You wear it the whole morning.

Sollux is pleased with his gift (you hope) of all the Aradia Megido movies he’s doesn’t already own, including tickets to the newest one coming out next week. You think he might have been crying tears of joy.

Eridan has already bought his fish a large aquarium complete with glow-in-the-dark rocks and named them Pisces and Aquarius, so you’ll take that as satisfaction.

Great, you’re pocket’s empty.

The morning of Christmas is excellent, but as evening progresses the hollow feeling within you is returning and chipping away at your cover. You’re locked in the bathroom for two hours, staring blankly at the wall before coming too and standing under cold water. It muffles your dry heaves. You still refuse to cry.

It’s your first Christmas, ever, without Dirk. And it’s breaking you. Today is supposed to be a happy day, god damn it.

You spend the rest of the day eating that fudge Rose and Jade gave you and leveling up on Skyrim.

New Year’s eve arrives and at ten o’clock you find yourself standing outside Vriska’s room with Sollux and Eridan behind you. You had barely reach up a fist to knock when it fling open and a half-naked, obviously drunk girl in a Santa hat greets you and lets you in with a dopey smile on her face.

Vriska’s place is larger than your’s, and there’s at least twenty to thirty people inside. Half of them are already drunk, the other half are dancing to the music that’s blasting.

“Guys, welcome!” Vriska suddenly shouts in your ear, and you jump and turn to see that she’s draped across some guy’s chest, who’s barely the same height as her and looks a little dorky. “This is Joooooooohn. Say hi John!”

John gives a small wave, and you nod towards him, but Sollux and Eridan push your forward so they can fully step inside the room.

“Our first college party,” Sollux notes, eyes scanning the place, “Wow.”

“Should we get wasted?” Eridan asks. The three of you exchange glances.

“Definitely,” You say, and the three of you bolt off in different directions.

You’re a whole year below the legal age to be drinking beer, but that doesn’t stop you from grabbing a red plastic cup filled with it. Your first sip makes you cringe but you continue drinking it anyways. Your mind had been wandering to Dirk all day. Whatever made you not think about him, you welcomed with open arms.

It’s only after two cups that you begin to feel a buzz, and you take a break, leaning against the wall to watch the other party-goers. More people are arriving and it’s making your head dizzy to watch all of them enter the room, it’s feeling a bit cramped, so you grab another cup of beer and empty it within seconds.

You’re not buzzed completely yet, but you feel a bit better. Until you notice a familiar someone hanging out on the wall with you.

“Oh hey look,” You comment as you step close to him, “It’s Douchekat.”

When Karkat looks up at you and smiles, you’re taken aback.

“Hi….Daehv,” He slurs, and you realize he’s just as drunk as everybody else in the room and you wish you had a camera on you for blackmail. You’re about to abandon any attempt to get him pissed off and go get another drink when he suddenly leans against you, that dopey smile still plastered on.

“I’m...Sleepy….Dave.”

“That’s cool,” You say, shoving him off you, and break away to get more drinks. You’ve downed two when a hand is placed on your shoulder and you turn to see Rose. She doesn’t look as hammered as the rest and for some reason you’re finding that she looks really really pretty right now.

“Hi Rose,” You try to say without your words slurring, but your voice fails you. She quirks an eyebrow and says something that you hardly hear over the music. She continues talking and your attention span is at it’s shortest at the moment, so you push her to the side to go find someone who was fun.

Sollux is draped across the couch with four cups of beer balanced on his stomach and other guys are trying to throw stuff in them without knocking them over. Sollux is laughing the hardest you’ve ever seen. There’s no sign of Eridan.

You look for other people you know-There’s Feferi, talking to Vriska, and her boyfriend (?) John is laughing with a guy in a wheelchair. Kanaya is sitting on the ground and ignoring Gamzee, who seems to try to be engaging her in drinking as well. She’s refusing.

You make your way towards her, intending to ask her ‘Why do yaaaa look so baddd’ when someone steps in front of you and you almost trip over them.

Your eyes travel downwards and meet Karkat’s and for a moment you suddenly forget who he is and his name as well before it returns and you can’t help but smile at the smile he’s giving you.

“Hey Aehv,” He says, and you think it’s an attempt at saying your name but you’re not sure, you don’t care, the lights are blurring and Karkat’s smile is probably one of the cutest things you’ve seen since that kitten fell onto your head when you were twelve.

“Hiiiiiiii,” You didn’t mean to drag the word out. Or did you? You don’t know. Have the walls always been orange? Wow. They’re pretty. Very orange.

More drinks find their ways to your hands and you find yourself talking to Karkat without even knowing what you’re saying or what he’s saying. All you can focus on is holy shit, you need more drinks because you can’t feel anything and not feeling anything is good.

The next thing you know, the light is blaring in your face and causing your head to explode.

You groan and rub your palms over your eyes, trying to remember what the fuck had just happened. You were drinking your eleventh cup of beer, though you’re pretty sure somebody slipped vodka inside, and the next thing you know you’re lying on something soft and the light is killing you. There’s a familiar groan from the bathroom and you know Eridan is having just as grand of a time as you.

You try to open your eyes but fuck your sunglasses are off and everything is blinding. You have no idea what happened or how you even got back here.

You try to sit up, but something around your midsection is pinning you down. You rub at your face, trying to open your eyes to get a good look at what but everything stings.

You bury your face into your pillow, hearing Eridan come out of the bathroom.

“Eridan,” You groan, voice muffled, “Close the fucking curtains….”

“Dave,” You hear Eridan’s voice say, “Why the fuck is Kar in your bed?”

You immediately drop the pillow and look down but it’s a big mistake and you give a yelp as you’re hit with the light. A second later, you hear the sounds of the curtains closing and after a minute of regaining yourself you open your eyes slowly.

Everything’s a bit hazy, blurred at the edges, but you can see well enough, and your head feels like a thousand tiny men are bonking against your brain with steel hammers.

And indeed, draped across you is a familiar Douchekat with his face pressed against your bed and he’s wearing nothing but his sweater and boxers. You blink once. Twice. And then you shove Karkat out of bed, feeling utterly disgusted with yourself.

“Ow-shit!” You hear, and you press the pillow to your face once again to block out the sound of Karkat’s voice.

“What the...Eridan? Holy fuck...What the...What the _hell_ -”

“Why are you in the same bed as Dave?” Eridan’s voice is full of amusement and you take this time to throw your pillow at his face. Holy shit it’s New Year’s day and you’ve got a hangover and life just really likes puking in your face.

“What the fucking shit?!” Karkat jumps to his feet but instantly falls back down.

“Why the hell are you in my room?” You growl, drawing your knees up to your chest in a protective position.

“Why the fuck did you drag me to your room?” Karkat snarls, getting to his feet, and this time managing to stay on them.

“I didn’t drag you in here,” You sneer, but your mind is racing a million miles an hour. Did you? What even happened last night? You didn’t... _Kiss_ Douchekat, did you?

“Like fuck you didn’t, no fucking way would I let myself in here on purpose,” Karkat scowls, turning towards Eridan, “Did you have anything to fucking do with this?”

Eridan shakes his head, amusement written all over his face. Karkat looks ready to blow up and honestly, you are too, because you have no idea what happened last night and holy shit if you... _Slept_ with Karkat….

Why else would he be in your room? In his boxers? _In_ your bed _with_ you?

You shake your head. No way. No fucking way, you did not have a hanky panky with Karkat, absolutely no fucking way.

Thankfully, Sollux interrupts your train of thought by barging into the room nearly completely naked, save the fact that he’s wearing a pair of panties and looking completely bewildered.

“What the flying _fu_ -”

“Karkat, I think you should leave,” Eridan’s voice cuts through Karkat’s, and you see he’s staring at Sollux. Karkat gives you a glare but siddles out of the room anyways, streams of curses coming from his mouth.

“Dave, you too,” Eridan holds open the door, and you know he’s not asking you, he’s telling you. You get to your feet, grab your wallet, take a moment to regain yourself. The world is spinning and your head still hurts. When you step out of the room, Sollux’s voice is panicked.

“I didn’t sleep with Feferi, I-”

The door is shut behind you and you’re left wondering what the fuck is going on. What happened between you and Karkat the night before, and what’s going on with Eridan and Sollux right now.  
  
 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ya'll be giving me shit about how Eridan is the clean one.
> 
> His room is probably one of the neatest in the entirety of Hivebent.
> 
> *puts on shades*
> 
> Holy hell I think this might be just as long or longer than the entirety of Mentally Trapped put together.
> 
> IaminlovewiththeideaofSolluxEridanandDavebeingbestbrosandyoucanttellmeotherwise.
> 
> Next update should be out soon, I've got to get my ass working on In Contrast.
> 
> THIS SHIT WAS THROWN TOGETHER AT TWO IN THE MORNING AND NOW IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING AFTERNOON IT SUCKS I'M SORRY IF THERE'S ANY MORE MISTAKES THIS ISN'T MY USUAL QUALITY FORM OF WRITING THANK YOU GOOD AFTERNOON HAVE A GOOD TIME AT SCHOOL MY LOVELY KIDDIES


End file.
